Thursday, February 07, 2008

FIREHOUSE PRANKS- A little inter-station rivalry never hurt anyone...much.

Thanks to everyone who has been stopping by recently. The traffic on my blog has been much higher than usual lately, and I hope that you have been enjoying the recent thoughts posted here. I really appreciate it when comments are made, so feel free to just say "hi" if nothing else.

I recently got to thinking about all of the crazy pranks that I have seen played between firehouses, sometimes as the perpetrator, and sometimes as the victim. So, for a quick and easy post, I figured that today I would just make a quick list of some of the stuff that I have seen. Before I begin, a quick disclaimer: "Firehouse pranks may be a thing of the past. Often, they are juvenile and stupid, and are probably banned by most department's rules. No matter what, the prime rule of firehouse pranks is that they MUST NOT INTERFERE WITH OPERATIONAL READINESS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. They probably shouldn't involve injury to persons or property either, but absolutely nothing should fuck with PPE or restrict apparatus from responding." OK, that having been said, here is a quick and far-from-complete list of stuff that I have seen, all of which is limited to pranks between companies:

1. The Banner (Phase I): Nothing says "owned" like making a banner out of a hospital sheet and some spray paint, with denigrating comments and placing it on your rival firehouse. This is customarily done around us by making a banner, sneaking to the other firehouse, duct taping the top of the banner to the bottom of the outside of the bay door, and leaving. This results in a situation where when the rival company gets a call, they raise their door and get a big banner in their face that not only says "You Suck", but which also says that you are not keeping a tight enough watch.

2. The Banner (Phase II): If the banner is funny, then doing a banner and making it very mean-spirited and making it look like it came from an uninvolved third firehouse, thereby causing an inter-station war of back-and-forth retaliation, is hilarious.

3. The Parking Lot Sprinkler: Done correctly, this has a very high chance of violating the rule about not damaging property (SO BE WARNED). Sneak into a rival firehouse on a sub-freezing night (15 to 20F) and stretch the garden hose from the apparatus bay to the parking lot. Once there, attach a garden sprinkler to the hose and put the sprinkler on top of the top guy's car. Leave. With any luck, no one will discover this antic until morning, and the victim's car and those around it will be coated in a ton of ice. SECOND WARNING: I saw this done, and so much ice built up on the car that the suspension was severely damaged, plus (in fairness) it sucks if the victim has to go anywhere (like work). My recommendation is to just think of this and laugh.

4. Insect Infestation: Before the explosion of growth in its area, one of our firehouses used to be surrounded by thick and damp/marshy woods. Back in the home response days, a couple of guys found the firehouse empty one night, so they turned on the light trailer that was stationed there, opened the bay doors with about 6000 watts of light in the bay and waited until about a gazillion moths, flies, aphids, mantises, mosquitoes and god knows what else came into the bay. They then turned off the generator/lights, closed the doors, and left. BTW, this is an all time favorite of mine.

5. The Trojan Truck: Drive to the vicinity of a rival firehouse and drop off two or three guys within walking distance, but out of sight of the firehouse. Drive your apparatus right up on the front ramp of the firehouse and do something obnoxious like lights/siren/horns/fire extinguishers/mooning or whatever, just cause a scene. While you are doing this (and hopefully drawing the attack/attention of everyone in the firehouse), the guys who were dropped off sneak into the firehouse while it is occupied, and do "The Banner" or any number of other tricks. And yes, some dumbass firehouse will fall for this more than once.

6. Messin' with PASS Devices- (Phase I): In our department, none of these tricks work anymore because our integrated Personal Alert Safety System (PASS) devices are permanently affixed to our SCBA and activated by breathing air, so any PASS hijinks violate rule number 1 and may not be done. In the past though, they were not permanently affixed, ran on battery power, and nobody used them anyway, so...GAME ON! Sneak into the rival firehouse at night after bedtime with one man for every SCBA carrying unit. Have an agreed upon signal, like snapping fingers, to indicate the start of the operation. Each person takes a piece of apparatus and upon receiving the signal, activates every pass device on their assigned rig, making sure to shake them so that they do not go off. Everyone runs out of the house at once. Thirty to forty seconds later, 20 alarms are going off at once, in the cabs, in the compartments, etc.

7. Messin' with PASS Devices (Phase II): Find a night when you have the keys to the captain's office at a rival firehouse, but no one staying in that firehouse does. Sneak into the firehouse well after bedtime. Take a PASS device off of the pack of your choice, and carry it into the captain's office. Take the phone off the hook and activate the station's overhead intercom system. Place the phone on the desk with the intercom open. Activate the PASS device and place it next to the phone, shaking it as you leave. Close and lock the door to the office. Leave the firehouse. Thirty to forty seconds later, one PASS device will be sounding very loudly everywhere in the house, and the guys in the house will have to call their captain to come from home to unlock the office and get it out.

8. Messin' with PASS Devices (Phase III): If you are wandering through a firehouse at night and just want to fuck with some people, one way to do it is to take a PASS device, activate it, shake it up to maximize the departure time, open the door to the bunkroom, slide it down the hall, and leave. Again, thirty to forty seconds later, everyone in bunkroom is up and confused, and you are already gone. Did I say that the days of these type pranks are over?

9 Messin' With Your Fill-Ins: Let's say you have members of another company covering your firehouse covering your house while your department is doing some activity (like medal day, installation, company picnic, elections, something involving drinking, etc.). One way to be less than gracious as hosts is to greet them and to show them where to sleep. Don't tell them that you have plugged in an alarm clock to every outlet in the bunkroom and randomly set them to go off every three to five minutes starting at about 0300 and lasting until about 0600. Take comfort in the fact that while you are enjoying your drunk-fest, they will be going crazy trying to end the agony of thirty alarms going off.

10. Retaliation for Getting Messed With By Your Hosts on A Fill-In: After the fourth clock goes off, destroy every alarm clock in the bunkroom by throwing them against the walls, smashing them to bits, and leaving the mess.

11. Furniture Swap: Find that your rivals are not paying enough attention to their firehouse? One way to let them know is to change entire rooms of furniture without being noticed or getting caught. By this I mean put all of the dayroom furniture in the kitchen, and all of the kitchen furniture in the dayroom. Take care to arrange the furniture in a manner that using it in the new area seems plausible. See how angry people get when they find your flair for interior design.

There are many, many more of these. For now, I'm getting tired. Bear in mind, that this post has been limited to inter-station pranks, and does not account for intra-station pranks, hazing, rookie gags, practical jokes, pointless quests and the other funny stuff that goes on. Fodder for more posts I guess.

OK, so there is no way that you can read this and not know about some sort of prank. Leave a comment and I'll compile some sort of handbook.

DTXMATT12

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